Vibrating Leprechaun
"Vibrating Leprechaun" is the eleventh track on Logan Whitehurst's debut album, Outsmartin' The Popos. Lyrics Okay, we're gonna get started, doot doo. (Left speaker) I remember way back in the war. Yeah, it was 400 years ago, it were, the Spanish Revolution. It was one of those wars where you had to hike up your hiking boots and put your underwear over your head if you just wanted a can of beans. I mean, you look at some of those guys and you think, "Holy Macarena." Them guys got them watch them leavin' sunglasses booked up off their head. Rope, roast, leavin' their teeth on the front porch. So, I turn on the fan, and Edguardo goes, "Hey man, what's up with them dentures?" And I said, "Look, Edguardo, it ain't none of your business, you go pokin' around the beeswax, leavin' the driveway." And he goes, "What?" And I say, "I remember, you're that guy who took the plane from that, you know, 7:40 this morning." And he said, "I'm sorry, you're gonna have to get away from me now, 'cause you're scarin' me." So, then I told him a story, and I said, "Way back, 17,000 years to the dawn of time, with the spandex and zip-hop music playing in the back of the car, and we were sweepin' up the intersection." And he said something to me, and I looked at him, and I, heheh, you should've seen what I done, but I forgot. But they gave me a trophy, and it's in the parlor, with my son's underwear. where I've been dying, in the broken towers with the goats and the things. You know, it was the frightening stuff, like, uh, Freddy Crougar. Boy, I was comparing Freddy Crougar to my son's underwear with the thing on top, 'cause he's got the heart little shaped thing pin box to the back and never made turtles just come down, watch them thorougly, just be quiet and don't disturb the passing turtles. I broke the corner off of it, but I guess I can glue it back when I'm, when I get, when I get around to it. (coughing) Stupid leprechaun, he should watch where he's going. He done tripped and fell down my esophagus. Aw, I gotta clean my socks and wash them. Baywatch, there's on the television. It wasn't all that great a show, but David Hasselhoff, Ooh boy, there's some great directin' skills they got. 5 toes on each foot, and there's speckles. It's the whole helicopter principle, you know, you take 7... (Right speaker) Tranquility roams the outer world and reaches of my mind. Touching the mirror of eternity and seeing the fall of Rome and the rise of Hitler. Rising to the height, ramsfoot, getting stepped on by the traffic of humanity. does the ant good, There's no good to everyone else's pain. Happy little bunnies fall from the sky and bounce off the hood ornament of Edsl that belongs to my mean old crotchety neighbor, with a smelly dog. They begin to jump up and down and down and up and up and over and through and under and inside out and on top of babblin', babblin', Babylon, about the pain, paint job, and the pain he went through to get that paint job, that fine Edsl. With the new chrome rims on his intel? grows grass from the cover of the Time Magazine that sits under the front seat. It sits there collecting dust and Hanson. More rams that have stepped on Hitler. And, frozen water that doesn't make ice, but makes frozen water. And dust falls like does the dust of all the trees in wonderment that arise out of the floor of the rain forest. Walls breathe and crawl And fall and cry and, and they cry out WRAAAAGH! Stop killing me! I'm only a wall got pushed into me forever, expect me to take it. I can't just sit here. I have my own feelings too. I'm a wall, am I not? Don't nouns have feelings? I'm a noun, like any other noun. Person, place, thing, you're a person, you have feelings. I'm a wall. Stop, I don't want that Bruce Stingsteen, Spring Stingsting blister on me. His butt is getting old and worn, that man is near 60. He's got an ugly wife and uglier kids. He has hair. Vibrations and waves, they run rapid in the universe. Many things in age wiggle and jiggle. We call a wiggle in time a Vibration. And a wiggle in space a wave. A wiggle cannot, in one phase, exist. Gets dyslexia cam. It runs rapid in our school systems. Ding dong, we must correct this small inefficiency of it. And there's no money, 'cause all the money grubbing cheese mice take it. STOP! (Left speaker) Uh oh, done cut me off! Notes Joe and I did this on caffeine and boredom. Please forgive us. Joe is the one who says "Vibrrrrraaaaation!"